Job Opening: Iran Advertises Ayatollah Role With $1m Daily Salary, “Short But Impactful Career Path Guaranteed”
The Islamic Republic of Iran has officially opened applications for the role of Supreme Ayatollah to the general public – no prior experience required, just “strong leadership qualities and a healthy relationship with destiny.”
This comes amid escalating tensions involving Israel and the United States, which have reportedly reduced Iran’s senior clerical bench to what insiders describe as “a WhatsApp group with only admins left.”
According to a now-viral job listing on “ProphetJobs.ng,” the position offers a mouthwatering compensation package of $1 million per day, hazard allowance, and what HR describes as a “very fast-paced work environment with immediate feedback – sometimes explosive.”
“We’ve had to rethink our hiring strategy,” said an unnamed Iranian official. “Previously, we only promoted from within the Ayatollah pipeline. But at this rate, even the pipeline is requesting asylum.”
The job description outlines key responsibilities including:
- Delivering nationally televised speeches under intense pressure
- Dodging precision-guided career-ending missiles from the enemies
- Maintaining composure during unexpected ‘fireworks displays’
- And occasionally updating your will mid-broadcast
Applicants are encouraged to demonstrate resilience, courage, and “a willingness to trend globally for a brief but unforgettable period.”
Early applicants have reportedly come from a wide range of backgrounds, including motivational speakers, Nollywood actors, crypto traders, and one very confident Uber driver in Lagos who stated, “At least this one pays in dollars. My current job only pays in insults and traffic.”
Global reactions have been mixed. A spokesperson from United Nations described the move as “deeply concerning but also strangely well-packaged,” while several HR professionals praised Iran for “thinking outside the coffin.”
Meanwhile, recruitment consultants warn that while the salary is attractive, the employee retention rate is currently estimated at 0% beyond the first few weeks. Still, Iran remains optimistic.
“We believe there’s always someone willing to take bold risks for high rewards,” the official added. “Plus, we’re offering free relocation. One-way, but still.”
At press time, the job listing had received over 2 million applications, though most applicants reportedly skipped the “life expectancy” section of the form.
Experts advise candidates to read the fine print carefully, particularly the clause that states:
“This role may significantly accelerate your transition to the afterlife.”
