‘I Will Fix Nigeria Within One Week – Peter Obi Brags
Former presidential candidate Peter Obi has reportedly unveiled what analysts are calling “the most ambitious seven-day delivery plan since God created the earth,” promising Nigerians that he would fix all the country’s problems within one week if…
INEC Alleges Atiku Abubakar Bought “Fake” African Democratic Congress on the Political Black Market
Abuja — Nigeria’s electoral umpire, Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), has raised serious concerns after uncovering what it describes as “a suspicious political transaction” involving former Vice President Atiku Abubakar and a group of…
After “Delivering” Nationwide Darkness, Adebayo Adelabu Exits Power Ministry, Eyes Oyo State Governorship with Promise of Light
Nigeria’s Minister of Power, Adebayo Adelabu, has officially announced his retirement after successfully delivering on his core mandate: ensuring that Nigeria remains in a state of uninterrupted darkness. Speaking at a dimly lit press conference powered,…
BREAKING: APC Sets Up 100-Man Committee to “Remember” Everything Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso Ever Did
Abuja—In what insiders have described as a “national emergency of selective memory,” the All Progressives Congress (APC) has reportedly constituted a 100-man special committee tasked with urgently excavating the past of former Kano State Governor, Rabiu…
Atiku Promises Peter Obi Special Adviser on Media Role
In what political analysts are already calling “the most generous offer since free Wi-Fi at campaign rallies,” former Vice President Atiku Abubakar has reportedly promised Peter Obi a “very juicy” role as Special Adviser on Media—on the condition that…
President Tinubu and First Lady Escape From Nigeria, Seen “Strengthening Bilateral Relations” With British Weather
In what insiders are calling a “strategic evacuation disguised as diplomacy,” Bola Ahmed Tinubu and his wife, Oluremi Tinubu, have reportedly fled Nigeria for a “state visit” to the United Kingdom—just in time to avoid answering questions about… well,…
President Tinubu Dives into Ancient Archives to Unearth More Yoruba Tribesmen for ‘Strategic National Appointments’
In a bold move to silence critics accusing him of running what some have dubbed “Yoruba Incorporated,” President Bola Ahmed Tinubu has reportedly retreated to the dusty corners of the National Archives in a frantic search for long-lost…