In what experts are calling “the boldest traffic congestion solution in human history,” billionaire innovator Elon Musk has officially begun construction of a super highway bridge connecting Earth directly to the Moon.
Speaking at a press conference, Musk revealed that the project, code-named Lunar Expressway, will allow humans to simply “enter their cars, hit cruise control, and drive straight to the Moon… no flights, no stress, just vibes.”
According to Musk, the 384,400-kilometer bridge will feature:
- 8 lanes (4 going, 4 returning, because “we must plan for rush hour”)
- Solar-powered streetlights “just in case the Sun forgets to shine”
- Charging stations every 50,000 kilometers for Tesla vehicles (non-Tesla drivers are advised to “rethink their life choices”)
The project, already underway, is expected to be completed in 10 years—assuming “nothing unusual happens,” such as gravity, physics, or common sense.
Traffic to the Moon? Nigerians React
Residents of Lagos have expressed mixed reactions. Some commuters believe the bridge could significantly reduce Third Mainland Bridge traffic.
“I will just drive from Ikorodu to the Moon, then branch VI from space,” one hopeful commuter said. “At least LASTMA cannot pursue me there.”
Meanwhile, transport unions are already planning to extend danfo routes to space, with one insider confirming the introduction of “Moon–CMS” buses by 2028.
Scientists Raise Minor Concerns
Experts in Astrophysics have raised what Musk described as “tiny, irrelevant issues,” including lack of oxygen, extreme temperatures, the small matter of a vacuum, and the fact that bridges are not typically built across space
Musk dismissed these concerns, stating: “People said reusable rockets were impossible. Now people are saying roads in space are impossible. Clearly, people need to start thinking less.”
Early Investors Rush In
Following the announcement, shares of Tesla reportedly surged, while construction companies scrambled to bid for contracts involving “interplanetary cement.” A premium toll system is also in development, with early estimates suggesting that a one-way trip to the Moon could cost “slightly more than Lagos–Ibadan express toll, but with better scenery.”
What’s Next?
Musk hinted that this is just the beginning. Future expansions may include:
- A flyover from the Moon to Mars
- Space traffic police powered by AI
- And a roadside suya spot “for long-distance drivers”
As construction begins, citizens are advised to start preparing their vehicles for space travel, including installing oxygen tanks, anti-gravity tires, and, most importantly, patience. Because if there’s one thing humanity has learned, it’s this: If Elon Musk says it will happen in 10 years… it will definitely happen in a year. Just not necessarily that one.
