President Tinubu and First Lady Escape From Nigeria, Seen “Strengthening Bilateral Relations” With British Weather
In what insiders are calling a “strategic evacuation disguised as diplomacy,” Bola Ahmed Tinubu and his wife, Oluremi Tinubu, have reportedly fled Nigeria for a “state visit” to the United Kingdom—just in time to avoid answering questions about… well,…
NASA Astronauts Rescue Nigerian Woman Stranded in Space for 500 Years
In what is being hailed as the most bizarre intergalactic humanitarian mission since the Apollo era, a team of NASA astronauts has successfully retrieved a Nigerian woman who claims to have been floating aimlessly through the cosmos for the past five…
President Tinubu Dives into Ancient Archives to Unearth More Yoruba Tribesmen for ‘Strategic National Appointments’
In a bold move to silence critics accusing him of running what some have dubbed “Yoruba Incorporated,” President Bola Ahmed Tinubu has reportedly retreated to the dusty corners of the National Archives in a frantic search for long-lost…
Breaking News: Ancient Scroll Found Under Third Mainland Bridge Reveals the Real Owners of Lagos…
LAGOS — In a shocking archaeological discovery that has instantly ended decades of heated tribal debates, a group of construction workers repairing a small crack under the Third Mainland Bridge reportedly discovered an ancient scroll revealing the true…
Iran Offers Trump and Netanyahu Joint Nobel Peace Prize and Unlimited Free Oil in Bold Bid to End War
TEHRAN — In a bold new diplomatic initiative, the Iranian regime has reportedly offered a joint Nobel Peace Prize and unlimited free oil to U.S. President Donald Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in what officials describe as “the…
Breaking: Iran’s New Supreme Leader Says He’ll Wear Hijab to Avoid Being Recognised by Enemies
TEHRAN — Iran’s newly appointed supreme leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, has reportedly announced that he will begin wearing a hijab and full niqab during public appearances in order to avoid being recognised and targeted by hostile nations. The decision comes…
Breaking News: Adolf Hitler Reportedly Dead
In a shocking development that has stunned absolutely no one with access to a history book, reports emerging from Europe indicate that former German leader Adolf Hitler has reportedly died. Sources close to the situation say the controversial dictator,…
Federal Government Moves to Regulate BBL as “National Security Concern”
In response to the rising number of failed Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) procedures among “hot and sexy Nigerian ladies,” the Federal Government has announced plans to establish a new regulatory body to oversee and control the booming backside enhancement…
World Powers Agree to Use Eco-Friendly Weapons for World War III
Say conflict must now comply with global sustainability targets In what diplomats are calling a “historic step for climate responsibility,” leaders of the world’s most heavily armed nations have reportedly agreed that the upcoming World War III…
Power Minister Apologises for Outages, Says Every Nigerian Will Get a Free Hand Fan
In an emotional address broadcast live on national television last night — powered, ironically, by a loud, smoke-belching diesel generator — the Honourable Minister of Power tendered what many are calling “the most sincere non-apology apology of the…
