Shocking! Artemis II Crew Discover Camps Inhabited by Nigerians on the Surface of the Moon
Astronauts aboard Artemis II have reportedly stumbled upon fully functioning Nigerian settlements on the surface of the Moon.
According to sources within NASA, the crew initially believed they were observing unusual geological formations, until one astronaut zoomed in and spotted a sign boldly reading: “Welcome to New Ikorodu Phase 3 , No Land Grabbers Allowed.”
Commander Reid Wiseman disclosed during a now-viral transmission that the crew was “completely stunned” to see what appeared to be a bustling lunar community.
“At first we saw smoke and thought it was volcanic activity. Then we noticed it was suya being grilled,” Wiseman said. “Next thing, someone waved at us and asked if we brought ‘pure water’ from Earth.”
Further inspection revealed makeshift housing estates, roadside kiosks, and what experts are now calling the first-ever extraterrestrial ‘Owambe’ party, complete with loud music echoing through the vacuum of space, somehow.
Even more astonishing, the astronauts reported that the Nigerian settlers had already established a functioning economy on the Moon. A Bureau de Change stand painted in green and white was spotted near a crater, with a sign reading: “Dollar, Pound, Moon Rock Accepted.”
One astronaut attempted to make contact but was promptly handed a POS machine.
“They asked if I wanted to buy land. Before I could answer, they had already divided one crater into plots and named it ‘Banana Island Phase 2: Lunar Edition,’” another crew member recounted.
Back on Earth, officials in Nigeria have denied any knowledge of a lunar migration program.
However, an anonymous source hinted that “Nigerians don’t wait for government before relocating to greener pastures, even if the pasture is 384,400 km away.”
Meanwhile, real estate developers have reportedly begun advertising “off-plan properties on the Moon,” promising “zero traffic, zero flooding, and 100% peace of mind.”
The astronauts also observed a small gathering where a self-proclaimed pastor was conducting a vigil titled “Dominion Over All Planets.” Nearby, a football match was in progress, with one team named “Moon Stars FC” and the other “Galactic Super Eagles.”
When asked how they got there, one resident simply replied:
“Oga, if Nigerians can survive Apolo 11 Moon Landing without even being invited, what is stopping us from settling here permanently?”
NASA has announced it will “further investigate the situation,” although insiders say the agency is already considering partnerships with the settlers to learn “advanced survival and hustle techniques.”
Back in Nigeria, social media has erupted with reactions, with many citizens asking the most important question:
“Abeg, how much is flight ticket to Moon, and is there installment payment?”
